It is 3 in the morning and here I am doing a meme.

Somehow, this will either terrify me or send me into hysterics.

Choose twelve characters from your fandoms, then answer the questions under the link. Do not look at the questions beforehand!

Hm. This is a problem. I don't check in to many fandoms.

1. Crowley (Good Omens)
2. Aziraphale (Good Omens)
3. Auron (FFX)
4. Lulu (FFX)
5. Sirius (Harry Potter)
6. Remus (Harry Potter)
7. Daenerys (A song of Ice and Fire)
8. Sam Vimes (Discworld)
9. Zhang He (Dynasty Warriors)
10. Havelock Vetinari (Discworld)
11. Dream (The Sandman)
12. Lu Meng (Dynasty Warriors)

7-12 are just there to fill space.

The Questions.

1. Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 11? What subjects would they teach? (Remus, Dream)

Hm. They’d both do something arty such as literature, but I say Dream would be the better, stricter, teacher due to his dedication. Remus however, would probably be more approachable.

2. Do you think 4 is hot? How hot? (Lulu)
Ah. Um. Uh. Oh screw. She is hot, yes. Especially in the character art depiction. In game however, it looks like her chest is about to escape the constraints of her dress and bounce all over the place.

3. 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed? (Lu Meng, Vimes)
Probably send him off to go slaughter Wei at that castle, the name of which escapes me. Vimes wouldn’t be too happy about it, seeing Lu Meng’s disastrous track record and he would go about it in his own way. Whether he succeeds or not depends on whether he has his beloved Watch with him. If he does, then he will most likely succeed. If he doesn’t.. then probably not, although you never know with Vimes.

4. What is or would be 9's favorite book? (Zhang He)
Aw hell naw. It’ll either be something like “Sex” by Madonna or something intellectual. I can see him reading “Anna Karenina” somehow.

5. Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around? (Aziraphale, Remus)
It wouldn’t make much sense either way, unless the both of them plan to take over the world in an old-fashioned, bookish sort of way.

6. For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should s/he share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10? (Sirius, Zhang He, Vetinari)
Honestly, I have no idea. He might go for Zhang He as Zhang He’s more fun to be around with in an odd sort of way. Vetinari would probably start creeping him out. The other alternative is that he gives up and goes camping with James.

7. 2, 7 and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss? (Aziraphale, Daenerys, Lu Meng)
Strange bedfellows indeed. They’d go to a quaint English restaurant on Aziraphale’s urging, (for he is very good at that) and Daenerys and Lu Meng would discuss the best ways to conquer a country with Aziraphale making polite conversation on the side. If they don’t get drunk, all is well and they go their separate ways. If they do get drunk.. expect gibberish about dragons. (Verr’ big, um whatyoucallems. Flappy things.)

8. 3 challenges 10 to a duel; what happens? (Auron, Vetinari)
I can’t see Auron challenging Vetinari to a duel, because he is smarter than that, and even if he does, I do not expect Vetinari to take up the challenge. There wouldn’t be much of a point, really, Vetinari would just.. arrange things.

9. If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would 8 get it back? (Vimes)
Oh boy, I’m fucked. Not in the literal sense of course. Um. He would be very angry, more so than usual, discover where my super secret hiding place is, get his possession back, and then arrest me.

10. Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire. (Daenerys, Lu Meng)
How to conquer the Continent within 80 days. Or something similar.

11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together? (Crowley, Lulu)
Um. I’d have to go with the “SAVE THE WURLDZ!!” one sadly, since both of them have done so already. Either that or they have to beat back the advancing horde of pink fluffy, zombie rabbits. That will get any two people, no matter how different or how much they loathe each other, to work together.

12. If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along? (Daenerys)
Her dragons would torment my cats and I wouldn’t like that. Apart from that, I’d be polite and show her around the place, making sure the dragons stay somewhere else.

13. If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be? (Auron)
To go back in time and make the writers change the ending of FFX, OR to make sure that FFX-2 never happened.

14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11? (Dream)
Yes.

15. If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be? (Aziraphale, Lulu, Sirius)
Aziraphale wouldn’t pick sides. He’d just soothe things between the two and offer some tea.

16. What might 10 shout while charging into battle? (Vetinari)
Vetinari? Charge? Ahahahahahaha.

17. If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose? (Vimes)

Karma Police. Vimes is a policeman, Karma has “police” in it. Hurr hurr.

I honestly have no idea.

18. 1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it? (Crowley, Remus, Lu Meng)
Crowley would get it. Remus is too polite, and Lu Meng would be scared off by the weird things Crowley can do with his tongue.

19. What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10? (Aziraphale, Vetinari)
Um. Ah. Uh.

…

Next question.

20. What would 5 most likely be arrested for? (Sirius)
>_>.

In real life? Either for being a public nuisance, or for indecent, public displays of affection.

21. What is 6's secret? (Remus)
Hee hee. Bad thoughts in my head.

22. If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first? (Dream, Zhang He)
Dream, most definitely. He’s one of the Endless man! He can do anything.

23. If 1 and 5 were stuck in an elevator together, what would happen? (Crowley, Sirius)
If they are not drunk, they will fidget, look around nervously, and engage in small talk. If they are both drunk, hilarious conversations will ensue, and they will eventually end up swapping snogging notes.

24. 1 (Crowley) and 9 (Zhang He) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's (Lulu’s) sinister secret organization. 11 (Dream) volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that 11 (Dream) is actually a spy for 4 (Lulu). Meanwhile, 4 (Lulu) has kidnapped 12 (Lu Meng) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 (Sirius), they seek out 3 (Auron), who gives them what they need to complete their quest." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
”Mega-epic Crossover adventures, read only when high or Drunk.” Unfortunately, I think Wynne, Tiff and Ele would read it just to see what the hell’s going on. No one should write this, ever, for it is worse than that crack dream I had that involved Drow, FFX, The Simpsons, Fish, Maplestory, Counter-strike, The Wheel of Fortune and Rollercoasters.

25. If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8? (Daenerys, Vimes)
If in Ankh-Morpork, Vimes. If in the generic “bad part of town”, any one of them would be alright, although Daenerys wins in the end due two her three fricking fire-breathing dragons.

This is a reminder, you moved to Shanghai on the fourth of January 2007, with much love from your friends and hugs a-plenty. You will be going back to Singapore in June, come hell or high-water and you will visit and bearhug all of them.

Ambitious Plans are Afoot.

I had big plans last night. They consisted of;

1) A bath. With bubbles and hot water.
2) Reading in the bath until the bubbles disappeared and the water cooled.
3) Sleep.

Inbetween 2) and 3), I played Okami until the screen became blurry.

Ahh, what a life.

On another note, our socks are disappearing! We have three lone socks, all of different colours, two of which are on my brother's feet and one is draped all by its lonesome on a briefcase. This never happened in Singapore, but that could be because all the socks we owned were white, so even if some off them hopped away it wouldn't have made a difference. It's the weather I say.

After a long day of warming feet, some socks nip down to the nearest pub to relax and have a pint or two, or three, or fourteen. Most of them come back but there are a few stragglers who get left behind (dead drunk) and are thrown into the lock-up. We do not bail out these particular socks, because we assume that they're "under the cupboard or in the laundry basket, or something". And so, they are lost forEVAARR.

Forever?

FOREVAARR!

The PETA are funny chaps. Meat is bad for you indeed. We have canines and bicuspids for a reason!

Props to anyone who recognises where the quote came from.

Do not listen to the PETA! They are going to take over the world with their ZOMBIE HORDE. VEGETARIAN Zombie Horde. I don't know how that's going to work out though.

...

"Fiiibreee... Fiiibreeee!!"
"Fruuuctooose.. Fruuuuctooose.."
"Joooin usss.. fight for aaanimaal riiiighhtsss..."

At the very least, our brains are safe. So use them fellow omnivorous homosapiens! Use them for rationalising and critical thinking!

If anyone reading this is vegetarian, I have nothing against you. It's your choice after all, and I respect that. It's just that I hate preaching.

This is just for you Guo Wei

How DARE you confuse me with that third-rate charlatan?! Me! A person of great intelligence and rapier wit! I have more charm, elegance and maturity in my little finger than that bumbling idiot. I, who wields the English language like a master artisan moulds his medium of choice to create wondrous works of (High) art! S/he can merely trace childish patterns in the dust when compared with the narcissistic vision of my glory.

My sense of humour is not limited to crude “Batam sex” jokes! Neither am I so fixated on shocking people by acting like some sort of sex-starved maniac. Why should I masquerade behind a highly unoriginal pseudonym such as “Jamesbond”? I would have chosen something obscure and strange that only my like-minded friends would have understood. Something like “Katamari” or “A knight of NI” or “Coldplay suck”. Never Jamesbond! Ever!

I like SPG, Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation. This “Jamesbond” person clearly does not have working knowledge of this Holy Trinity of English. I am not very surprised, seeing that the movie version of James Bond only has enough brain cells to point a gun and shoot at a generic henchman and to remember which orifice to go spelunking in whichever big-breasted air-head he’s currently shagging.

This fake rant is getting absurd. Good day to you Guo Wei, you will be hearing from my lawyers very soon.

In reality, we’re cool bro. Have a pleasant New Year. :D

Mynd you, moose bytes kan be preti nasti.

It's a new year right now, which is funny because it feels like any other year, except that I'm currently lying on the floor of my study right now surrounded by Things That Have Been Packed Away, and my brother is playing Amnesiac tracks on the desktop while sitting on a box that has a squinty-eyed tiger printed on the side.

That was a long, incoherent sentence. Clearly I shouldn't have stayed up till five in the morning playing The Sims 2. (But I needed to get the windows juuust right and the light fixtures like so and I obviously needed to do the landscaping..)

Kids, videogames are addictive, especially the ones that require you to micro-manage bunches of polygons.

Christmas certainly didn't feel like Christmas, although we had the tree up. I can't even remember what we did. My brother says that we just sat around wanking.

I have a very strong suspicion that I was playing World of Warcraft. This is not good.

I remember what happened on boxing day though. We had go to the Chinese Embassy to get the visas done. It was raining heavily and the embassy people were very irritating. They also smelled of feet for some inexplicable reason.

Skip forward a couple of hours and we arrive at the evening where it is STILL RAINING. Rarr.

Dinner was had at Shashlik's, a Russian Restaurant with the relatives and my Dad's friend. For an expensive restaurant it didn't have very nice food, but I liked the soup.

A while ago, we celebrated my father's thirty-fifth birthday, and it's stayed that way ever since. Happy Birthday Pa!

It must suck to have your birthday so close to Christmas. I mean, you only get one present from sods who go, "This is your Christmas present AND your birthday present!!!" The little brother and my Dad suffer from the same horrible fate. I got him Carrie Underwood's CD and he was quite happy about it.

I will finish this at a later date. geh.